Aku mahu pulang

It's been 2 years since I left..
I change a lot, I grew up a lot..
But then I find myself farther away from 'Him'..
How I had stray away without realising it.

Lately, I had been feeling down, feeling old
And unaccomplished..
How I long to go back home..
How each and every cell in me screaming
I wanna go back..

Aku Mahu pulang..
Ke suatu tempat yang aku rindukan,
Aku Mahu kembali..
Ke jalan yang aku tinggalkan,
Aku Mahu melewati..
Masaku yang telah pergi,
Kerana yang aku rindukan,
Ternyata hanya sebuah kenangan..

The Real Deal!

Oliver: Was it even real for her?
Nikita: You were the only real thing in her life. We all wear masks. Everyone, everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are. Sometimes, if we're lucky, someone comes along and shows us who we really want to be; who we should be. You were that for her.

~La Femme Nikita~

When will I be able to open the mask? be myself...
Take control, and be all you can be.

Life like that, Deal with it, Go with the Flow!

What will be, will be...

To tired to think already...

Tick Tock

Tick tock..

The sound of the clock..

Tick tock..

Im feeling stuck..

When clock keep tickling..

But I  did not start running. .

Im stuck.. dont know what happening..

Tick tock..
The sound of the clock..
It making my heart stop..
It make my jaws drop..


When the world start spinning. .
And I kept on dreaming. .
I will end up falling..

When the tick tock stop..
Where will I be?..

When other sound emerged. .
When everything is lost..
Will I be able to appreciate. .
The tick tock?

Lazy Day

mmmm...

Today, i dont feel like doing anything...
Dont feel like writing anything...

Somehow, i wanted to write this...
So that when i feeling like wanted to give up...

I can see this post..
and remember how i decided to started..

And i wanted to keep this feeling inside me...
The feeling of gratefulness..
Feeling bless and happy..

Thank you Allah...
Maybe one day....

PsychO

I learn about psychiatric...
I have seen psychiatric patient...
I have been with them..
I have work for them..

But now, I'm more closer to them than ever,
Coz maybe, just maybe...
I will become psychiatric patient myself...

Who knows?
Coz life is like that..
You'll not be here forever..
nor are they...

So, why judge??
Before the Day itself

The day Allah judge all of us..
The day that none will be misjudge...

None of us is superior to one another...
None of us is inferior to one another...
Coz in Allah eye,
What matter is TAQWA...

And that what I need to strive for..
Whether being a psycho or not..
: )

Change of Heart?

Starting a new job..
Moving into a new house..
Living in a new place..
Working in a new department. .
Being in new environment. ..

A lot of thing had change in my life..
Some are thing that I really wants. .
Other just change that I really need
Or maybe something that I just cannot avoid..

Whatever it is. . The only change that really affected me...
Really scares the hell out of me..
Really bothers me..
Making people around me feel shocked.

It the kind of change that suddenly occurs..
Change from within me..
Changes from my heart..
Complete change of myself. .
Transforming my identity. .

Where is that girl?
That I always depend on..
That I always adores..
That I'm most confidence with..
Where's the old me?

Maybe this is the price I had to pay...
For making drastic decision..
On a wimp..
Without really thinking through..

But this time. . I'm enduring it..
Trying to adapt.. conserved.. and deal with changes..

I determined to become stronger..
If I cannot fight the changes...
If I cannot stop it..
If I find no ways to conserve the old me..

Then.. the time have come..for me to change accordingly... adapt..
Work hard.. pray harder..
Be someone better...
Inshaaallah. .. may Allah ease..

Freedom

Apa ertinya bebas?
Apa itu ketenangan?
Apa itu bahagia?
Apa ukurannya?

Dulu kau bilang, kau tidak percaya..
Bila mereka bilang hidup adalah untuk mengesakan Allah..
Kerna ucapannya cuma dibibir doang..
Ngakk dipraktikkan melalui perbuatan...

Justru kau menilai mereka?

Tapi kini, sesudahnya kau mulai berubah...
Mulai seperti mereka...
Bagaimana itu?
Sudahnya apa maksud hidupmu?
Berpoya-poya tanpa kesudahan...
Lalu kau tertanya lagi...

Apa ertinya bebas?
Apa itu ketenangan?
Apa itu bahagia?
Apa ukurannya?

Sampai bila baru kau bisa mengerti..
Kalau semuanya datang dari hati..
Bahagia? Ketenangan? Kebebasan?

Jawapnya :

 الَّذِيْنَ ءَامَنُوْا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوْبُـهُمْ بِذِكْرِ اللهِ أَلا بِذِكْرِ اللهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوْبُ

28. (yaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka manjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram. (Ar- Ra'd)

Dengan mengingati Allah SWT, hati menjadi tenang....
Jiwa bebas dari belenggu duniawi...
Justru kebahagian dapat dicapai....

Makanya, ukurlah ketenangan, kebebasan dan kebahagiaanmu...
Dengan sebanyak mana kau mengingati Allah SWT...
Penciptamu...